I've just been very tired lately. It doesn't have anything to do with staying up late then getting up early. Oh, no. [rolls eyes]
No time for reading. No inclination at the moment either. Most of what I've been reading has been online and in the form of news articles, especially those that have to do with the Colbert Report and the Daily Show. I love those news shows. They're what mainstream news should be.
I keed, I keed.
I've also been looking at Sesshoumaru/Rin fanfic. I don't know Japanese, but watching anime has been getting me interested in it. Must work on my French first. I think I'd rather read Les Miserables in the original language before I dive into Japanese manga.
In spite of this supposed lack of time for reading, I've finally solved a problem in a story that's been floating through my head for a couple years now. The main character had nothing that pulled me into him and the way I always saw him tended toward the bland. Now I finally have something that makes him larger than life and I've gotten excited about exploring that through writing.
Now I just need the time to write, lol.
My tomatoes are still alive and I'm in a mild state of shock over it. They aren't looking too good and will probably never have a single tomato on them, but it's nice to know they're more hardy than all those gardening books make them sound. We'll see if I can kill my fall garden instead.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
Like I said... I hate gaps
I've been working on reading Bleak House in my spare time. It's a surprisingly angry novel: Dickens at his sarcastic best. What drew me to the book is that (if the Masterpiece Theater show I saw didn't change it) it doesn't have a happy ending. Well, it kind of does. But not a true Dickens ending where you know "everything will be all right" [insert kind pat on head from author].
So far, it's also a good example of how an author can break the rules and should break the rules of writing. He flows effortlessly from third person to first, takes caricatures and somehow turns them into characters, weaving their lives together around a single civil suit.
Not that I enjoy all the book. I'm not very fond of Mr. Jarndyce so far. He seems too nervous and jumpy though there are small moments where he says something that belies a greater wisdom than he usually shows. I hope to see more of those moments as I continue reading.
On a different note: my tomato plants, in spite of my neglect, have somehow managed to live in the hideous Texas heat. We'll see how long that lasts. [evil laugh]
So far, it's also a good example of how an author can break the rules and should break the rules of writing. He flows effortlessly from third person to first, takes caricatures and somehow turns them into characters, weaving their lives together around a single civil suit.
Not that I enjoy all the book. I'm not very fond of Mr. Jarndyce so far. He seems too nervous and jumpy though there are small moments where he says something that belies a greater wisdom than he usually shows. I hope to see more of those moments as I continue reading.
On a different note: my tomato plants, in spite of my neglect, have somehow managed to live in the hideous Texas heat. We'll see how long that lasts. [evil laugh]
Monday, June 11, 2007
What You Can Do Right Now to Help Your Child with Autism
What You Can Do Right Now to Help Your Child with Autism, a book by Jonathan Levy, is a fantastic overview of basic principles that help children with autism leave their comfortable world and step out into the real one: with joy, not pain.
I think this is a very important distinction. My two eldest children are in the autistic spectrum, one struggling more than the other, and we have been using these principles off and on for the past year. They are simple, yet difficult to put into practice. Why? Because many of these principles require the parent to reexamine their own emotions and beliefs regarding their child.
This sounds easy. Trust me, it's not. It requires giving up the notion that your child "should" be normal (whatever that is) or that he "should" be more obedient, or "should" be calm whenever you get the vacuum cleaner out. Why should a person examine their beliefs? Because children with autism pick up on emotions and attitudes on a level most don't, and they have very little reason to want to be in the real world in the first place: even less if they don't feel they're truly wanted. The real world is full of noises, colors, shapes, and movement that overwhelm their senses to the point of physical pain. Let's face it, most parents have difficulty figuring out what their average children want. Give them a child who doesn't want to talk or even point, who only wants to stay safely cocooned in their world, and frustration builds up on both sides.
This is where beliefs become crucial. It's very easy for a parent to give up on an autistic child or just shuttle the child off to school (special or public) or put the child in an institution. If that's all you can do, then I don't think anyone should feel any guilt over doing that. However, most parents have the ability, especially during this time of homeschool freedom, to do far more, if they believe they can and if they believe their child can. And a child who feels their parent believes in them can do miracles.
Jonathan Levy's book is a great help for parents who are willing to truly take a look at their child and themselves in an effort to understand the most frustrating question for parents of autistic children: Why? I strongly recommend this book. The information's organization is fantastic, the questions are well-thought out, and the worksheets are surprisingly fun. Plus, the anecdotes and analogies make sense and tie in to the point Levy wants to make. Overall, very well written and informative.
On a personal note: we've been using these principles for a year now* and have seen quite a bit of progress with our two eldest. There's still a lot of work to be done, but with each step forward, we see more hope for the future of our children.
*Note: we learned these principles through the Son-Rise® program, offered by the Autism Treatment Center of America (the same organization where Levy learned these principles and taught them as well). They are very enthusiastic regarding child-centered, parent-led therapy. Although the information is not as well-organized as Jonathan Levy's book, I still would recommend any parent with an autistic child to go through ATCA's programs. I recommend reading Levy's book first, though, so that the more in-depth coverage of these principles during the training programs will sink in faster.
I think this is a very important distinction. My two eldest children are in the autistic spectrum, one struggling more than the other, and we have been using these principles off and on for the past year. They are simple, yet difficult to put into practice. Why? Because many of these principles require the parent to reexamine their own emotions and beliefs regarding their child.
This sounds easy. Trust me, it's not. It requires giving up the notion that your child "should" be normal (whatever that is) or that he "should" be more obedient, or "should" be calm whenever you get the vacuum cleaner out. Why should a person examine their beliefs? Because children with autism pick up on emotions and attitudes on a level most don't, and they have very little reason to want to be in the real world in the first place: even less if they don't feel they're truly wanted. The real world is full of noises, colors, shapes, and movement that overwhelm their senses to the point of physical pain. Let's face it, most parents have difficulty figuring out what their average children want. Give them a child who doesn't want to talk or even point, who only wants to stay safely cocooned in their world, and frustration builds up on both sides.
This is where beliefs become crucial. It's very easy for a parent to give up on an autistic child or just shuttle the child off to school (special or public) or put the child in an institution. If that's all you can do, then I don't think anyone should feel any guilt over doing that. However, most parents have the ability, especially during this time of homeschool freedom, to do far more, if they believe they can and if they believe their child can. And a child who feels their parent believes in them can do miracles.
Jonathan Levy's book is a great help for parents who are willing to truly take a look at their child and themselves in an effort to understand the most frustrating question for parents of autistic children: Why? I strongly recommend this book. The information's organization is fantastic, the questions are well-thought out, and the worksheets are surprisingly fun. Plus, the anecdotes and analogies make sense and tie in to the point Levy wants to make. Overall, very well written and informative.
On a personal note: we've been using these principles for a year now* and have seen quite a bit of progress with our two eldest. There's still a lot of work to be done, but with each step forward, we see more hope for the future of our children.
*Note: we learned these principles through the Son-Rise® program, offered by the Autism Treatment Center of America (the same organization where Levy learned these principles and taught them as well). They are very enthusiastic regarding child-centered, parent-led therapy. Although the information is not as well-organized as Jonathan Levy's book, I still would recommend any parent with an autistic child to go through ATCA's programs. I recommend reading Levy's book first, though, so that the more in-depth coverage of these principles during the training programs will sink in faster.
Monday, June 4, 2007
Square Feet, FlyLady and Tomatoes
I've just finished reading Square Foot Gardening by Mel Bartholomew (the older version where he talks about improving your local soil). I've just started gardening, so I can't review the content with an experienced eye. However, he does a great job of making gardening sound fun... and not nearly as time consuming as you would think. Not only do you use less time, you also use fewer tools and fewer seeds: seeds that can then be stored for next year. A money-saver all around.
There's only one thing that pervades his theory that might turn some people off. Although he shows variations for those with very little time for gardening, the key to really great gardening is doing a little each day. This is a concept that some might not want to hear, either because they already have their day filled up with worthy causes (very likely) or they're just lazy (not so likely).
So, for those who are willing to devote a few minutes each day to growing your own food/herbs/flowers/etc. I highly recommend Square Foot Gardening, especially if this is your first garden.
On a side note, for those who can't seem to find an organizational system that works for them, I would recommend FlyLady. I've been too busy lately to keep up the email in her group, but the system itself is rigid enough for anyone to follow, yet flexible enough to adapt through many life changes and for many situations. The three keys of her system (principle-wise) are:
- time limits
- setting routines
- writing things down
One of the sayings she uses pretty often is "You can do anything for 15 minutes". And it's true. Part of the problem in keeping up with anything is the idea that one will be spending an ungodly amount of time doing something they don't really want to do. Combine that with the chaos most people have in their lives from trying to take care of work, home and family all at once and soon you find your life has turned into a plate-spinning routine. Work plate spinning okay? Good, let's take care of the housework plate; it's starting to wobble. Uh-oh! Junior's skipping school... the family plate is about to topple. Quick! Give it a spin! Time to race back to work... and I think you get the idea.
The beauty of FlyLady's program is that her beginner's section starts off with the most important things and moves outward from there (it reminds me of something I saw once regarding the priority Muslims give various parts of their lives when it comes to generosity). She starts with one bit of housework (shining your sink) then moves you off to taking care of yourself. When you get back to housework, she actually gives you a decent plan for decluttering focusing on the concept of keeping a time limit to any and all work done... or not done.
That's right. If the timer goes off and you still haven't finished vacuuming the floor, tough. Put the vacuum away. The point of all this is encapsulated in the second principle: routines.
There is no more spring cleaning if you follow FlyLady's system. No grab and stash, no hidden "treasures" in closets, and definitely no whining about not having enough time. Using the time limit, you do a little bit every day in certain areas of the house. The downside to this is if you're used to cramming as much into every time slot as you possibly can. Soon, that fifteen minute rule isn't going to give you any peace at all. That's why I would personally suggest scheduling fifteen minute breaks, just like you would have at a "real job" if you're a homemaker or do 45 minutes of housework, then take a 15 minute break (part of her Crisis Cleaning schedule).
When you keep up with your routines on a consistent basis, housework becomes much easier to manage and soon the people around you will start cleaning up after themselves as well (I've seen this myself).
Now, some might argue that these are things that are pretty obvious. The problem is that my generation was raised by women who didn't think much of housework and let that sense of chaos seep into the rest of their lives. Rules were bad things when I was growing up (unless I did something my parents didn't like) and cleaning was something that... well, when I was growing up it wasn't even mentioned. No one every showed me how to clean my room: I taught myself. Every bit of housework was the same way. The biggest problem was trying to figure out how to organize my time so that the house stayed clean without exhausting me in the process. I've noticed more than one person from my generation who's trying desperately to figure out how to do this "house maintenence" thing as well... and realizing it's about a lot more than housework. It's an attitude we were raised with about anything that smacked of order.
Obviously, some kinds of order are bad. But not all kinds. FlyLady helps those who have no idea where to even start find, not only the path to cleanliness, but also a series of signs to help along the way.
I will warn the stoics out there: FlyLady's emails in her group tend to be a bit emotional at times. If you don't mind that, join up. The system works best with the emails, but it's not absolutely necessary. Just like I discovered that, for me, getting dressed in lace-up shoes every day was a literal health hazard.
On an entirely different note: I'm hardening my tomatoes this week. That means I slowly get them used to being outside. Yes, it's very late for tomatoes. That's why I have them in a container instead of in the ground. Hopefully, they'll bear some fruit this year. Either way, I'm glad I started growing something.
There's only one thing that pervades his theory that might turn some people off. Although he shows variations for those with very little time for gardening, the key to really great gardening is doing a little each day. This is a concept that some might not want to hear, either because they already have their day filled up with worthy causes (very likely) or they're just lazy (not so likely).
So, for those who are willing to devote a few minutes each day to growing your own food/herbs/flowers/etc. I highly recommend Square Foot Gardening, especially if this is your first garden.
On a side note, for those who can't seem to find an organizational system that works for them, I would recommend FlyLady. I've been too busy lately to keep up the email in her group, but the system itself is rigid enough for anyone to follow, yet flexible enough to adapt through many life changes and for many situations. The three keys of her system (principle-wise) are:
- time limits
- setting routines
- writing things down
One of the sayings she uses pretty often is "You can do anything for 15 minutes". And it's true. Part of the problem in keeping up with anything is the idea that one will be spending an ungodly amount of time doing something they don't really want to do. Combine that with the chaos most people have in their lives from trying to take care of work, home and family all at once and soon you find your life has turned into a plate-spinning routine. Work plate spinning okay? Good, let's take care of the housework plate; it's starting to wobble. Uh-oh! Junior's skipping school... the family plate is about to topple. Quick! Give it a spin! Time to race back to work... and I think you get the idea.
The beauty of FlyLady's program is that her beginner's section starts off with the most important things and moves outward from there (it reminds me of something I saw once regarding the priority Muslims give various parts of their lives when it comes to generosity). She starts with one bit of housework (shining your sink) then moves you off to taking care of yourself. When you get back to housework, she actually gives you a decent plan for decluttering focusing on the concept of keeping a time limit to any and all work done... or not done.
That's right. If the timer goes off and you still haven't finished vacuuming the floor, tough. Put the vacuum away. The point of all this is encapsulated in the second principle: routines.
There is no more spring cleaning if you follow FlyLady's system. No grab and stash, no hidden "treasures" in closets, and definitely no whining about not having enough time. Using the time limit, you do a little bit every day in certain areas of the house. The downside to this is if you're used to cramming as much into every time slot as you possibly can. Soon, that fifteen minute rule isn't going to give you any peace at all. That's why I would personally suggest scheduling fifteen minute breaks, just like you would have at a "real job" if you're a homemaker or do 45 minutes of housework, then take a 15 minute break (part of her Crisis Cleaning schedule).
When you keep up with your routines on a consistent basis, housework becomes much easier to manage and soon the people around you will start cleaning up after themselves as well (I've seen this myself).
Now, some might argue that these are things that are pretty obvious. The problem is that my generation was raised by women who didn't think much of housework and let that sense of chaos seep into the rest of their lives. Rules were bad things when I was growing up (unless I did something my parents didn't like) and cleaning was something that... well, when I was growing up it wasn't even mentioned. No one every showed me how to clean my room: I taught myself. Every bit of housework was the same way. The biggest problem was trying to figure out how to organize my time so that the house stayed clean without exhausting me in the process. I've noticed more than one person from my generation who's trying desperately to figure out how to do this "house maintenence" thing as well... and realizing it's about a lot more than housework. It's an attitude we were raised with about anything that smacked of order.
Obviously, some kinds of order are bad. But not all kinds. FlyLady helps those who have no idea where to even start find, not only the path to cleanliness, but also a series of signs to help along the way.
I will warn the stoics out there: FlyLady's emails in her group tend to be a bit emotional at times. If you don't mind that, join up. The system works best with the emails, but it's not absolutely necessary. Just like I discovered that, for me, getting dressed in lace-up shoes every day was a literal health hazard.
On an entirely different note: I'm hardening my tomatoes this week. That means I slowly get them used to being outside. Yes, it's very late for tomatoes. That's why I have them in a container instead of in the ground. Hopefully, they'll bear some fruit this year. Either way, I'm glad I started growing something.
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